TV or No TV?
I love good TV and when I find a show that I love, I’m all-in. Over the decades, there have been many shows I’ve truly loved: Friends, The West Wing, Ally McBeal, ER and, more recently, 24, Law & Order, Greys Anatomy, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Downton Abbey. And many more in between. In fact, I’ve loved many of these shows and their characters so much so that I follow and often tweet with them on Twitter, which makes me feel ridiculously happy. (Yes, I know these are not real people but, please, indulge me.)
Back when I was a kid, I watched a lot of TV, like most kids do today. Saturdays, in particular, you’d find my brother, sister and I lounging around watching Noel Edmands’ Swap Shop in the morning and Doctor Who in the afternoon. And much more. Until the day that my Dad decided we watched too much and it was, in his opinion, harming our grey matter and ruining our chances of future brilliance.
He took away the TV for a whole year; locked it up in a cupboard. Twelve months later, we kids were social outcasts, unable to join in the conversations at school about whatever were the latest goings-on on the popular shows. It stunk, big time.
When Dad eventually returned the TV, much to our jubilation, watching it came with terms and conditions. Dad and demanded we sign a "TV Charter", which listed the rules that were to govern our TV watching. I remember, in particular, one clause relating to when we were allowed to watch TV mid-week during the day. “Only if genuinely ill and in bed,” the charter stated.
Did Dad’s extreme measures make an iota of difference to the amount of TV I watch? Not one teeny bit! I'm still a TV fiend.
Fast-forward to present day. I read in emarketer that, according to Nielsen, 2- to 11- year olds average 23 hours 34 minutes per week watching “traditional” TV. That’s almost one whole day per week spent in front of the tube – like non-stop Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba, Power Rangers, Clone Wars, Pokemon, Disney, iCarly and so on! (By comparison, time spent online was just shy of 2 hours per week.)
Even before reading this, I was feeling concerned by the amount of TV my kids were watching, even though we were limiting it to 30 mins each evening mid-week and longer on weekend mornings. The problem wasn’t so much what they were watching but their stroppy behavior when asked to stop watching and the spiraling moods as bedtime closed in.
Three weeks ago, after displaying some particularly bad behavior, we banned the TV in the evenings for a week as punishment. The first night the kids complained vigorously. “We’re so bored,” they moaned. “There’s nothing to do.”
The second night, we discussed their options for evening entertainment before they had a chance to start complaining (they built forts.) By the third evening, there was no discussion, they headed straight for their books, crayons, and toys and played. And guess what? Bath time and bedtime were less highly-strung, more relaxed and everyone went to sleep calmer and happier.
We’ve so enjoyed the transformation that we’ve decided to make it half-permanent. No TV in the evenings Monday to Wednesday. Honestly, I don’t think the kids have even noticed. My son heads straight to his books, my daughter to her Transformers. It’s a beautiful thing.
And, best of all, I can catch up on emails, blogging—and tweeting with my imaginary TV friends!
Samantha McGarry lives in Framingham and works in Waltham. She's a working Mom, juggling her career, family, household and life one crazy day at a time—with a smile on her face. You can read more of her blogs at Keeping the Glass Half Full.
Ben Jackson
1:48 pm on Thursday, January 31, 2013
But TV commercials are *perfect* for karate homework! :)
Samantha McGarry
2:51 pm on Thursday, January 31, 2013
Ahhhhh :) Hi Ben. As it happens, my kids mostly watch shows that are streamed from the web (Netflix, Roku) or movies on DVD so there are no commercials. Figuring how to modify that particular homework assignment ;)
charlotte mcintyre
12:57 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Great stuff Sam - am going to try a variation on your theme - no screen devices, e.g. tablets, PCs, video games OR TV until Thursday. Wish me luck :-)
Samantha McGarry
1:32 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Good luck Char; let me know how it goes!
Jason Wichern
1:02 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Meh.. Would never work for me since I watch too much sports. Good thing I dont have kids.
Danielle Horn
9:07 am on Friday, February 1, 2013
On the weekdays, my father would limit me and my sister to a half hour a night, an hour if it was a longer program (on the weekends, we were always doing something so it wasn't an issue.) And, during commercials, we'd do "eye exercises," which involved him having us follow his finger with our eyes while not moving our heads. I've been as blind as a bat since third grade, so I'm not sure it did any good....but I remember it fondly. :-)
Samantha McGarry
1:33 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
were these exercises supposed to stop you getting square eyes, like my Dad would always talk about?
Charlene Arsenault
9:50 am on Friday, February 1, 2013
I, too, got an hour a day, but that also included weekends. I'm not sure how many years that rule lasted. I do think it's a good idea to limit. No doubt about it. I remember going over my neighbor's house to watch some TV, but then I just ended up getting hooked on the soap opera Santa Barbara. Does anyone remember that? I was 13 and loved Santa Barbara.
Sam Bonacci
11:33 am on Friday, February 1, 2013
Ah! The warm glow of a TV. My youth was spent with the TV playing local news constantly. Other than Saturday mornings, the TV was mostly the realm of my parents. I think it worked out well and as I got older we found shows we could all agree on.
Samantha McGarry
1:34 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
I have to say, the kids not bickering over shows, is an added bonus of this new experiment!
Danielle Horn
1:36 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Square eyes....I don't know about square eyes...childhood references to eyes include "I have eyes in the back of my head," and "don't cross your eyes, they'll stay that way!" :-)
Neil in Waltham
11:12 pm on Sunday, February 3, 2013
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." —Groucho Marx
Watching a couple of shows probably isn't a bad thing, but the endless "surfing" (an odd term for sitting on your couch) and daily viewing (addiction) should certainly be curtailed. The end result is they'll be more interesting people.
Life is too short for television.
Karen Walz
2:32 pm on Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I'm a vid kid myself (and worked in TV for some years), and was happy not too long ago to find little of interest to me on television (reading...aaahhhh). But, darn it, there seems to be more now that I enjoy again. Not to mention Netflix. Hulu, YouTube... I may sound like a fuddy-duddy, but the thing that distresses me the most, although my boys are grown, is the ruder and cruder content one finds at all hours these days. I have quite a liberal background, and grew up in the '60s, but some of what I see even shocks me! That's the worst part, I think, of allowing young ones to watch at all hours. Now, on to a point of grammar: "Saturdays, in particular, you’d find my brother, sister and I lounging around..." That should be ME, not I. You don't find I, you find me.
Samantha McGarry
3:16 pm on Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Me, myself and I thank you!
Karen Walz
5:13 pm on Tuesday, February 5, 2013
You're very welcome! BTW, here's my own family anecdote: When my older son was very young, we'd have TV on in the morning, and there was some unwanted behavior. I banned TV in the mornings, and noticed that, subsequently, they went very well--more calm and peaceful. So after a few days I told my son that the punishment was over, but since mornings were so enjoyable, I suggested and he agreed to keep TV off in the a.m., at least on weekdays! I really do think there is a link between "over-watching" and some Irritability and anxiety in children. So, I totally support your approach with your kids. Thanks for an interesting column!
Karen
12:15 pm on Friday, February 8, 2013
We've had no TV between Mon-Thurs for years. Now they are teens, the biggest benefit is that they will come in and CHAT with me while I'm cooking- sometimes helping, sometime not. The whole evening is more relaxed and the kids go to be earlier and get a better night's sleep. Why would I trade that for anything in the world?
Samantha McGarry
12:24 pm on Friday, February 8, 2013
That's fantastic Karen. Now I definitely want to stick with this!
Myd Nevins
9:44 am on Monday, February 11, 2013
My parents never really had to limit our tv. I was lucky in that I had a good group of friends who as a collective whole just prefered to be outside. Winter, summer, day, night, we just couldn't be cooped up indoors. Even a planned afternoon of video games got changed usually when someone brought out the football.
Now if at any point one of us thought of an extension cord and bringing the tv outside, my childhood might have been different.
Myd Nevins
9:48 am on Monday, February 11, 2013
All that being said, reflecting on it now, I've realized that the shows back then were so much better than the ones today. And today is the time of my life where I am in front of the tv and far less running around outside in the woods. Doesn't seem fair in a way.
Shannon Pataky
10:11 am on Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Growing up, the tv was always on. Someone always had something to watch. Mom watched the waltons and other old shows, dad was sports, younger brothers watched cartoons, and I kept MTV on whenever no one else was using it. We didn't do much though. My kids have a much busier life. The tv is on in the morning, but I'm usually watching the today show, and for the most part, the hour they are getting ready is pretty entertaining and educational (my 7 year old loves where in the world is matt lauer, and I foundly remember watching the royal wedding with her at 5am). Other then "hey, cool, you finished homework and snack, we have 10 minutes, why don't you catch the end of a show before we run out the door again", my kids earn their tv time. this includes to use the xbox. We have a chore chart on the fridge and if they do the chore, they get a magnet under their name for however many minutes that chore was worth (1-10). OR they can convert those magnets to money (which they both almost always do) and get paid for it. It works. No arguments about tv, because they want to save the magnets for cash for the weekend to spend.
Samantha McGarry
11:14 am on Tuesday, February 12, 2013
That's a great approach; we do the same thing for earning screen time on iPad or laptop.
Kirsten Vandijk
7:43 am on Wednesday, February 13, 2013
With seven kids in the family, my Mom learned quickly that TV made a great babysitter. I remember watching Rocky and Bullwinkle and wondering if the Professor and MaryAnn would ever kiss.
Brian Northborough
9:05 am on Wednesday, February 13, 2013
On Friday, during the snow day, my daughter was checking out the HDTivo and asked if we could watch Nova. I love PBS programming and was happy to see she was interested...We watched 4 straight...Egyptian Chariots, Volcanoes, Neanderthals and Viking Swords...All educational for young and not quite as young...TV doesn't always have to be mindless sludge food...If you make educational programming exciting they'll never know your teaching them!
Samantha McGarry
11:07 am on Wednesday, February 13, 2013
So true Brian, my kids are always intrigued by National Geographic stuff. However, if they are left in charge of the remote, they all to quickly find something less wholesome!